I have many demanding jobs. I am a mother of four. Yes I said four. While I obviously did not birth my two dogs they still demand my care and attention. I am a full time nurse, daughter, wife... Every day I am pulled in more directions than the day before. I have adapted to this way of life. As a mom that works full time it is hard to balance keeping up relationship, giving your children the attention they need, keeping house, and supporting my husband.
Last December my youngest turned one. When we found out the happy news that we were pregnant we started preparing our oldest. We praised her for how accepting she was of her new sister. She took on a very mothering role and became the protective big sister that we wanted her to be. They squabble of course but over all they adore each other. I never really paused to consider how my oldest felt about the new dynamic to the family. In one year we added three new family members when you count the dogs. This change took a lot of my attention away from her. She adapted so well though and never once complained.
Today one word turned my world upside down. "Again." Such a small word but packed with more meaning than I think she knew. She crawled onto my lap and said she had fun yesterday. Yesterday I took her to see the new Cinderella movie. It was a "mommy daughter" date. We left the little one at home. While she sat in my lap I commented on how fun it was to have some time alone with her and that's when she broke my heart with the word "again."
"I had so much fun. Just the two of us again."
Suddenly it hit me that she IS fully aware of the change. That she does have some sense of missing the days when it was just the two of us. My one year old still demands extra attention and will continue to until she masters eating certain foods, using stairs, and potty training. Today I am aware of just how important it for me to continue having a mommy daughter date with my oldest. I am proud of how well my oldest has accepted her sister and become my helper.
It may not seem significant to you reading this but today I've been heartbroken with a single word.
Again.
